Back to School Preparations for My Kids with ADHD
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As I mentioned in my last blog, my daughter is about to start kindergarten in our local public school. She will be my first child to start school in the public school though her brothers both attended this same school starting in 1st and 5th grade.
I'm a completely different person now compared to eight years ago when my oldest son started kindergarten. There are so many things I've learned that I want to pass along to you.
A few tips as you prepare to send your kids to school:
1. Prepare for them to be drained and dysregulated after school. Most neurodivergent kids are expert maskers and can hide their symptoms while in school. But as soon as they come home, there is a huge emotional let down and it can be a lot to manage. The more you plan for this and prepare for them to need some recovery time, the better off your family will be as you make this transition.
My kids do best with coming home right after school and having an hour of down time before heading in to activities or homework.
2. Prepare for your kids to come home starving. Lunch is short and if your kids are social, it is really easy for them to get distracted and eat very little. There is also not a teacher watching them eat as there probably was in pre-school so they have to manage themselves which can be challenging to stay on task in a loud lunchroom. I prioritize a good breakfast and then have snacks ready right away. If you are doing a pick-up loop, have something ready to go because your kids will be very hangry.
We also have found that having a very early dinner at 4:30 pm works best for us and then a later snack before bed. I know that's not possible for every families and make family dinners tricky but we are all happier when we have an early dinner.
3. Prepare for this transition to be emotionally draining for the first few weeks. Keep the playdates and weekend activities light so your kids can get the down time they might need if school is overstimulating. Prioritize your own self care and rest because your kids will need more patience and grace and their behavior may be a lot more challenging. Say no to as many "extra" things as you can as you all adjust to your new normal.
4. Have visuals ready to go to help your kids understand the flow of the day and their responsibilities. Autonomy is so helpful for neurodivergent kids as is predictability and if they can feel in control and aware of their days, it will help this transition be easier. I'm a huge fan of checklists as well as habit boards and I switch them up from time to time as needed. This year, I've made new habit boards for all three of my kids so they can track their daily habits.
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5. Have a clear plan for screen time and tv time with school starting. We started the summer with a strong screen time plan but it's gotten a lot looser as the weeks have gone by. One of my favorite things about the school year is having clear boundaries around screens. We have screen time hours set on devices and limit video games to the weekend. It is so helpful to my daily sanity. Our screen time plan and visuals are included in the MTM E-Book + Templates Pack if you need help getting started with those.
6. Lean in to accommodations! I was terrified about my oldest starting in kindergarten because I knew he couldn't sit still all day. Well, it turns out there are a lot of accommodations that can help busy kids focus at school. I'm sending my daughter in with a bouncy band and a wiggle pad to help her get the movement that she needs to focus. I've also found that public school classrooms are much more accommodating with the need for movement and many incorporate movement breaks as part of the normal day.
Here's what I'm sending in with Libby as she starts kindergarten.
7. Pursue regulating activities. If your kids are dysregulated after school, pursue activities and tools that will help them regulate during down time. Last year, I took my daughter to the playground for 30 minutes almost every day before getting her brothers at school. Swinging upside down is incredibly regulating for her as she's a sensory seeker and needs lots of sensory input. We also have an aerial yoga swing in our family room that my kids use all of the time and it's especially helpful after school. Swinging can help regulate their nervous system. Weighted blankets, a cold smoothie, jumping on a trampoline, climbing or swimming are all very regulating activities for kids.
8. Let yourself recover from summer. Summer is hard. Really, really hard. I'm usually pretty dysregulated myself by the time I finally snap that first day of school picture. I've learned to give myself a little refresher that first week of school to recover before ramping up my planning and organizing for Fall.
Plan SOMETHING fun for yourself to celebrate surviving summer. Take a mental health day off work. Go get your nails done. Go to lunch with a friend. Get a yummy beverage from Starbucks and then sit in your quiet home all alone and read a book. But do something to celebrate and reward yourself!
I host a Back to School Planning Session inside the Master the Mundane community which is probably my most popular live training sessions of the year. I've intentionally planned it for Thursday, August 15 because I think it's helpful to have a few days of school or even a week or two under your belt before really tackling the Fall schedule. If you are looking for support creating systems and strategies to support your kids this Fall and beyond, I highly encourage you to join the MTM Course + Community.
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I could keep going but what I really want to pass along is a big huge HUG to you because these times of transition can be challenging, they also remind us that we are our kids safe people. They might save all of their crazy and chaos for us but it's because you are doing something right.
I'm cheering you on this school year as you work to support and care for your family.
Best,
Amy
