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Work, ADHD and Motherhood

adhd mom life Jul 16, 2020

Have you ever read a quote in a book and felt like your heart just leapt out of your chest? Or that you wanted to jump up and give the author a huge hug and scream YES, YES, YES! You know, that feeling that you aren't alone in the world after all and your experience of the world makes a little more sense?!? I read these words a few days ago and that's pretty much what happened.

Does that give you the chills or is it just me? It's like someone just confirmed my deepest feelings. This is absolutely true for me though it took me years to really understand it. For me, work is 100% part of my mental health strategy. It's about so much more than a paycheck.

You see, I didn't have huge aspirations for a career. In fact, in college I believed the lie that since I have ADHD and did't want to be on medicine long term that I would never be "successful" in business. I opted for a joke major that was actually incredibly boring. I didn't understand my brain. I didn't understand my potential. And I didn't understand my absolute need for challenge and personal growth.

I've always been a hard worker, good at relationships and able to get things done. I found a few satisfying professional roles in my 20s in administrative positions. I was safe behind the scenes and didn't take any big risks though I made a comfortable living.

By the grace of God, I had one amazing boss that saw my intellect and talent and spoke belief in to me. He told me that I had what it takes to climb the corporate ladder and opened my eyes to see that success was a viable option. That confidence was life changing for me.

And yet, I didn't want to climb the corporate latter. After having our oldest, I worked full time for a few years but the 8-6 grind in a big city was just not the lifestyle I wanted for my family. I had very little time for exercise, friendships, hobbies... so many of the things that multi-passionate ADHD minds like mine NEED in abundance. I wasn't thriving.

I honestly thought I'd be so happy as a stay at home mom. Oh my goodness, was I mistaken. Ha! Of course, the quality time with my little guy was great but my mind was ALL over the place. I found myself obsessing about dumb projects around the house. I was staying up until all hours of the night reading books because my mind was restless. I had way too much unused mental energy.

I needed productivity. I needed challenge. I needed to be growing and learning. I needed problems to solve.

I started a home based business in the skincare world mostly because of the flexibility. I loved that I could grow a business in part-time hours and still have time for whatever new passions and interests I discovered over the years. I've always had many! I built with one company for the last 6 years and have recently made a big move to launch a new company in to the social selling space. I feel like I'm finally stepping in to my full potential as a leader and business woman.

Having been on this journey for years, I now know how essential work is to my mental health. I absolutely believe that making time for my business makes me a BETTER mom. I'm happier. I'm more present. I'm more ME. I'm more ALIVE. And that's what my family needs most of all! They need ME! 

I've learned to lower my expectations of myself in some areas to create the space for my business. Dishes might sit in the sink a little longer. The laundry might stay in the basket for a few extra days. Me being alive is more important than those tasks getting done!

Friend, what I do isn't for everyone. Maybe you also love social sales but my company isn't your jam. That's okay too! The point I want to make is that finding your thing MATTERS. It REALLY matters.

As women with ADHD it's easy to feel like since we are struggling with certain parts of motherhood or adulting, that we aren't "ready" to take on something else. We might even feel guilty for prioritizing that thing that lights us up. We feel like since we are failing at a, b, c why would ever find success with x, y, z. How dare we make time for painting/creating/writing/cooking/connecting/speaking when the laundry/budget/cleaning/cooking still isn't done! 

Oh friend, if you relate to that I encourage you to BUST through that lie to find the life on the other side. Start making time to find that thing that lights you up. Your family needs your LIGHT. Your family needs you to come ALIVE. 

Am I saying that you just give up on the household stuff that you hate? Nope! But what I've found is that it's a lot easier to solve problems and find work arounds when you are alive, excited, and happy. Also, having a paycheck has given me the freedom to OUTSOURCE which I can't recommend enough! Instacart and a cleaning lady are pretty dang awesome.

You might not find your thing right away. The process might be messy. No, it will likely be messy! You don't have to do it alone. I'm here cheering you on and would love to have you inside our Facebook Community  so that we can support you along the way.

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